There is no "I" in TEAM
Cooperation, rapport, leadership and raising morale, these are not actions or attributes you would usually think important to a dancer in the club....Believe it or not, working in the Adult Entertainment Industry is a team sport, not an individual one.
One subject I seem to broach with many girls at work is the fact that if we encouraged one another and worked together more is the fact that we would ALL make more money. This is a very competitive industry I know. However, we do not need to be overly territorial, or become a bully in order to make money. In fact, the more difficult a girl makes her relationships with her fellow dancers (or any co-worker), the harder her work environment shall treat her. You will find it easier and more profitable if you are being encouraging to others (even when it is dead), gaining rapport with your co-workers and establishing a positive leadership role amongst the dancers; therefore proving to those around you that you are positive and uplifting, encouraging them to stay positive and reinforcing the belief that they are powerful and beautiful will reestablish that thought about yourself as well. And this will help all of you make money and make your club thrive.
Now I will list a couple of quotes from a text I read back in my Public Speaking course in High School. It is "How to Win Friends and Influence People", by Dale Carnegie. I came across it again recently and in the very beginning of the book found ideas I could relate with in practically all forms of business.
"Dealing with other people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer. Research done a few years ago under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact - a fact later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute of Technology. Those investigations revealed that even in such technical lines as engineering about 15% of one's financial success is due to one's technological knowledge and about 85% is due to skill in human engineering - to personality and the ability to lead people." 1
"...A total of probably more than fifteen-hundred engineers have passed through my classes. They came to me because they had finally realised, after years of experience that the highest paid personnel in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about engineering.
"One can, for example, hire more technical ability in engineering, or architecture or any other profession at nominal salaries. But the person who has technological knowledge plus the ability to express ideas to assume leadership and to arouse enthusiasm among people - that person is headed for higher earning potential." 2
These quotes display simply that merely a technical prowess in one's craft is not enough to be fully successful. Just because you can do the splits or do an amazing lap-dance however, does not mean your audience will be dazzled and mindlessly hand over all their money. Without the very important inter-personal skills necessary you could lose a lot of your earning potential from multiple clients. Such examples are; if you are being over-territorial of them and their time or are rude and "catty" to co-workers. Most of the time, an "Adult Entertainer's" job is to communicate with the client and coax out of them (sometimes not so subtle) hints in order to find out what his/her needs and wants are. This requires superlative vocal and physical communication skills as well as a very good understanding of the clients' psychology (whether they be male or female), all the while retaining a special subtlety, and executing it gracefully, appearing demure and almost casual, despite a clubs' sometimes intimidating intimate setting. Sometimes clients are blunt about what they want and why they are there, most people are in the end way too shy to vocalize exactly what they want, if we can satisfy that or not.
Communication is not only important to have with a customer but it is very important with other dancers and the echelon of numerous other kinds of co-workers in this profession because you will eventually have to deal with them in a professional situation, whether it be tipping out to your new manager, being nice and considerate to the bartender who mixed your drink wrong or the bouncer who decided to lead you towards the big spenders asking for you in V.I.P. The small window in how you carry yourself and treat your co-workers and others shall make a lasting impression that is very hard to correct if you left a bad lasting impression. How you treat others in the workplace is also a hint on how you perceive yourself and how you expect to be treated. I always say that I am not there to make friends, but that won't stop me from being friendly. I constantly remind myself of how scared I was my first day and though in reality every new girl adds a little competition to the game, making the chances harder on everyone, many girls helped me and showed me the ropes. After I was dancing only two months, my manager Brad had me train TWO girls so fresh they were green! I asked him when I was so new why he chose me to train new girls, he replied:
"You are nice and friendly....and you know Daisy."
This meant since Daisy is making me her protégé, he is confident I will train both of them to be well-rounded dancers and being told all the necessary rules. I started to feel pride, in myself, my new-found abilities, my girls and my club. Brad allowed me to take ownership of something and in doing so, I unknowingly accepted a leadership position among the girls and this gave me a sense of accomplishment, finally having paid my "dues" after a few years I am now well respected and liked by co-workers throughout the club because of my friendly, helpful and outgoing personality. I love it when a few years later I hear girls boast outside how Sydni taught her how to do a certain trick.
Now when it comes to Dancers and "territory" it definitely depends on if you have a prior relationship with the girl(s) in question. You have to understand that girls will have their regulars and that is to be respected. The customer ALWAYS has the final decision, and is allowed to favorite more than one dancer. It is always up to the customer. It is not like you are dating (unless you are LOL) and will have to learn to share clients. If this client has a usual girl who is present and he is showing significant interest in you, tipping, making small talk while passing by, etc. Go ask the girl if she minds you spending time with her regular, instead of just plopping down on his lap or nearby chair simply because he tipped you. It is just good manners not to interrupt people when they are in deep conversation or in an "intimate" conversation (i.e. Dance). Now perhaps if you and the other girl happen to be on fairly good terms, perhaps she will give you special insight of what this customer is like and this information could greatly increase your tips. Maybe this particular client does not buy dances but will buy you drinks and could be a fun distraction for you and a couple of girls during a slow stint. Besides if you do not attempt to at least be friendly, what happens when a customer wants a Double-dance from you and another girl. (Take it from me, it can be extremely awkward when doing a double with your ex-girlfriend in V.I.P.)
The interactions between dancers are always seen and/or talked about by other employees and occasionally customers. Now emoting or "dumping" on a trusted co-worker or girlfriend is one thing, but do not go around talking shit to other customers about a dancer who "custie-hawked" you, stole your flat-iron or god-forbid do what I did, dated. Once, when Daisy and I had broken up, she told the customers that were interested in me that I was trouble and not to get dances off of me just to spite me and make work difficult. This made guys more interested and backfired. This is usually the thing men do NOT come to the strip club for and that is gossip and drama. It makes you look petty and superficial and so ruins the reputation and rapport you were just beginning with a particular client. Also, girls hear everything. You make some criticism of a girl and it will go around the club, get back to you and the rumor now sounds ten times blown out of proportion. They also do not like being fought over like territory, it reinforces the feeling you only want them for their money. Instead of instigating drama try to encourage each other, especially when it is slow. Yell and holler and support each other onstage, urging customers to go up and tip. In the locker room we have this Positive Reinforcement mantra we do.
"We're ALL gonna make an ASS-LOAD of money tonight!" The out loud positive reinforcement helps us all be productive.
Flirt with each other, new girls coming to our club see right away that we are more encouraging and less catty than in other clubs. Brand new girls to the "Industry" are relieved to have helpful and encouraging "sisters" in this scary and new experience in their lives. There are always a few girls who feel so intimidated by new competition and unknown ability that once they are over being new themselves and they feel established in the clubs' hierarchy they become bullies to the newer girls, stealing their purses, phones or other belongings thus in turn affecting their work attitudes and attempt to intimidate them to quit. I recall I auditioned at a rival club when one of my exes was doing her first ever audition. I auditioned with her so she would not be alone. We were the only white girls and the only ones dancing to rock instead of R&B or Hip-hop. The club was predominantly black and Hispanic in clientele and employees. The clients liked my pole tricks and it only took an hour for me to earn $100. One of these "Bullies" intimidated by my skills decided to shoulder-check me while I scanned the club from the bar. It sometimes does not take too much to begin a girls' downward spiral of her mood. It could be personal problems at home, a customer jips her, large (or small) sums of money stolen but once a girl is in a really bad mood it is extremely difficult to pull oneself out of it. It affects their demeanor and willingness to hustle plunging them into a feeling of helplessness and insecurity which predatory dancers will feed on and customers will avoid. This can slowly alter the atmosphere of the club. If many girls are feeling depressed and sluggish because there are few to no customers, girls start "lazy dancing" or instead of initiating conversations with the few customers they spend their time smoking or sitting amongst themselves, and unfortunately complaining. If the customers do not feel engaged by the girls, they will refuse to tip and ultimately leave and when most guys enter an empty club they get the immediate impression that the club will be boring, especially when there is not a variety of dancers, they will get quickly bored with the repeating rotation. Having a stable and wide variety of girls is necessary in order for the club and therefore the girls to be a success.
Hopefully now I have illustrated Dale Carnegie's point in that learning how to communicate effectively with people and interact with them is much more of a needed skill in almost any position, more so maybe than technical mastery. Also, a club is made up of multiple dancers. Yes we are all "Independent Contractors", but the club needs a variety of us in order for the business to run effectively and profitably.
You could be drop dead gorgeous.....but still be a Bitch and won't make a dime because no one wants to be around you.
Dale Carnegie. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Simon and Schuster. New York. 1937. Pg. 3, 4
